The Lighter Side of Psychology PsychNetemail.gif (1545 bytes)

  Submissions to the Lighter Side of Psychology Are welcome just email us with you joke or humorous tale.


Naked and Ninety-Five

An elderly male resident of the nursing home said to the female resident in a wheel chair, "Betcha can't guess how old I am."

She replied, "I can if you take off all of your clothes."

So he disrobed and she instructed him to turn around slowly. Then she said, "You're 95."

"That's amazing!!" he exclaimed. "How could you tell?"

"You told me at breakfast."

Patty Pease

Tower Hill, IL

From : L.J.Webber@durham.ac.uk

Alzheimer's disease has lots of advantages: You get to hide your
own Easter eggs and buy yourself surprise presents, you're always
meeting new people and you never have to watch repeats on television!


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Shrink Rap

Two psychiatrists are riding a bike. One of them falls, and hurts himself badly, bruises and blood all over the place. The other one stops to ask him, "Are you willing to talk about it?"

Dr. Janos Patai

Kecskemet, Hungary

1-800-PSYCH
Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want.                                                         Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

From : L.J.Webber@durham.ac.uk

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Vacation
Courtesy of Catherine, from London

A woman who was depressed went on a vacation and sent a postcard to her psychiatrist:

"Having a wonderful time -- Why?"

Q: Why did Cleopatra wish to see a psychoanalyst?


A: Because she was the Queen of Denial.

 

Stress Management

Picture yourself near a stream.

Birds are singing in the crisp, cool mountain air.

Nothing can bother you here.

No one knows this secret place.

You are in total seclusion from that place called the world.

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

The water is clear.

You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water.

There now, feeling better?

 


 

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